Even with all my bags packed, I'm still not processing that we're leaving today. For some reason, this trip seems to be a bigger, more momentous happening than any of the other ones I've taken. Maybe because I'm older and more able to comprehend and appreciate the scope of planning this has taken, and also understand how amazing this experience I'm about to take part in is. Maybe.
But I also think I've never left this much behind before. My heart feels like it is bound to so many more things this time. To Mandie, the sister I'm leaving, to Nick, the man I love, to Nick's parents, my second family, to my job and my friends there...so many things. Before, with my family by my side, my whole world went with me. This time, I'm leaving half of it behind.
Although that does make me sad, I know that being apart only makes being reunited all the more sweet and potent. My head knows that. My heart just hasn't really caught up yet. And it probably won't, at least for awhile. My heart-strings are irrevocably tied to everything here. The farther I get away, the more they stretch, and stretching heart-strings hurt. Alot sometimes. But that pain will make everything I'm going to experience all the more vivid. Emotion begets emotion, the more a heart holds, the more it can hold.
I'm so ready for this trip. I need a fresh perspective. I'm ready to feel to new depths, and be alive in adventure...even if it is only trying to not get killed while crossing the street in London.
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